The downward trend continues. It seems that case ever since I stepped here. Everything just seems as bad as it can be. It puzzles me why it is so bad.
Anyway, this week, some miscommunication is cleared. Chance of funding, zero. Near zero if its not there already. All the known sources are dried and parched. Well, that is perhaps what is plotted out for me ever since the start of my entire school term here. I feel kind of sad. The pace of life here is good for me. Just a little more, just one funding opportunity like many others have, that would have been enough.
I think in some sense, I've made up my mind to graduate. Well, not really. I hope to find funding and continue my studies still. That is a wish. I think I can still go on. I feel a little tired of studies though. Hard and dry theory surely bore me silly. I think some of my current courses would be good areas to work on, although the prospect of continuation is in doubt.
I am rushing much of my homework this week due to the beach trip. Of course, I did enjoy it somewhat. I feel empty, and a simple trip like that with nothing special to look forward to. It seems fitting, though I rather something more worthwhile happened. Seems like another week in another year. Things seems to matter less for me now, but I still got a few decisions to make. Graduate or not? Find funding or not? Work or not? Apply for school or not? Lots of things to consider, little time to carry all of them out.
"You have to take the path you have to take..." This is definitely different from "You have to do what you have to do..." Circumstance have not much room for compassion, life do...all it takes is a little more, but can my school provide it?
