Quote : Win with Grace, Lose with Dignity

Background:


Well, as everyone might have heard, Singapore had their Presidential Election on Saturday. The quote is spurred by the reactions of the people I know on all sides of the election. I find it disturbingly similar to my childhood, not the fun part of me running around trees back in my grandfather's farm, but that of the later years of my elementary school. I came to knew first of malice at around 10-12, thankfully for my parents to protect me all the years before.


There is this group of kids, very smart and very athletic, growing up alongside me. Yet, despite my innocence, they disliked me, and I can't remember what I ever did to deserve that. What they relate to the quote though is that they ganged up on me. When they won, they sneered, without grace, without humility. When they lost, they cried, without dignity, without repentance. They seldom lost, but they did often change the rules to win.


Now, I grew up, much in sync with life. My family is still blessedly moving along well. I thank everyone for that. And through the years, I learnt to seek things with my heart. And it is more often right and good for me than not. That is where I learnt to share, even when I win. That is where I learnt to grow, even when I lost. That is why, I feel I outgrew what is expected of me. And I still want to grow. I still want to share. And I hope the same too for the people around me.


To be fair, I will condone a bit of partying, but I do need people to be aware that since I'm not a party animal, I am not going to join the festivities and I will always maintain a clear mind of what I need to do. And because of that, I do encourage everyone to live responsibly.

Motto : Live Like You Are Going To Die Tomorrow, Plan Like You Are Going To Live Forever

Background:

It comes after some deliberating how to write this motto. Steve Job's speech at Stanford, the other so common sayings. I chose to use Jobs'speech at the center piece of this motto instead of the standard planner's motto "Hope for the Best, Plan for the Worst".

The real reason in my posting this is that I was talking to my boss today and he was telling me about my performance dipping. Perhaps he read my last motto and aimed to put my bar back up at the high level it should be. Either way, I'm thankful. The only problem now is to get my lazy butt off the bed in time. And as much as I have bad sleep hygiene, I can get around it by planning and executing correctly. And I seldom make the same mistake again.

Motto : Do Not Dare Me *

Background:


This motto has a huge disclaimer, hence the little start. Disclaimer : I can prove you wrong as long as the dare does not hurt anyone (obvious) or embarrasses me and others. While I am OK to doing relatively awkward things at times, its all about my norm. Just because I'm unorthodox doesn't mean I can accept streaking across town. I'm OK if someone else does it and I would applaud it. It's just not me, yet at least.


Anyway, things got messy recently and I thought, this motto has helped me move on many times. Because I got something to prove, because I want to achieve more, because I want everyone around me to be happy and ultimately, because I want to be happy myself. 


Even if I meet people who hate me for no reason, even if I meet mean people, even if I have to do everything myself, I decided, hey, life is good with or without these bad people. I have the best people around me. Always.


So, why should I worry about these mean people? I have better things to take care of, like the many good people I have around me. Am I optimistic? Perhaps. Am I gullible? Maybe. Am I stupid? Who has the right to decide that? You? God? Understand?


For that, dare me to stretch my capabilities till you cannot fathom what I can ultimately be. Challenge me to bring my potential and make things happen. Yes. I must thank many people who allowed me to be here today. And I plan to repay everyone what is rightfully theirs.

Life's RUBBA to Happening!

Before I start, I need a shout opening. FEEL FREE TO COMMENT! I AM NOT MONITORING COMMENTS FOR LIKE FOREVER ALREADY!


Now, to the real topic, which unfortunately shall start with a moment of sadness. I was reading of a friend's depression and this is not the first I heard. I feel sorry for this friend and would like to help, even by just being there to listen. Anyway, while thinking about this sad story, it linked back to my style of life and brought me an epiphany of some sort.

I remember hearing of "Kübler-Ross model" in Criminal Minds before, hence Wiki'd it. Upon thinking deeper, it is exactly the phases of everything in life. Strategy, political cycle, everything. It seems so weird that things that are so complicated can be explained in such simple ways! Unfortunately, there must always be resistance and the order or components must always satisfy everyone. Is there a need to? Can't we just decide on something that will help people?


However, if you read up the actual article in Wikipedia, the 5 names do not match up to RUBBA, instead it is DABDA. Nothing against it really. It is used in the psychological terms and it matches perfectly. Should one always have these cycles in phase? Well, that's why I thought of re-inventing DABDA and call it RUBBA! Now, instead of an item of anger and depression, I rather express them in action. Here goes!

1. Refusing - Refusing the facts and constraints as they first dawned upon the subject (s).
2. Uprising - Uprising against the facts by the subject (s). 
3. Bargaining - Bargaining in an attempt to ignore the facts.
4. Burrowing - Burrowing within oneself's inner world to avoid more hurt.
5. Accepting - Accepting the fact and need for changes.

Well, it all sounds familiar, don't they? Now, we know Refusing and Uprising tends to occur first, so that is of little debate of its order. I know that Bargaining and Burrowing pretty much happens hand in hand and could happen in either order. Notice they both start with B, so don't argue! Let's use it to help people! Finally, Accepting. I probably can find a similar word with Accepting and Bargaining to replace them instead of using the original model but hey, RUBBA sounds better than DABDA! RUBBA RUBBA RUBBA! RUBBA BAND!


Of course, I always like to add the kicker at the end. Notice that the title is called Life's RUBBA to Happening! If you reach A, then you can decide to make good things happen! I wanted to put enlightening but that wouldn't sound so fun, would it?

Ok, before I hush hush all of you to go spread Dennis' Model of Life and help everyone reach Happening, I do need to say, you should not take this model negatively. Why? Because I built this for happiness! Below is the happy version!

1. Refusing to Lose
2. Uprising against Challenges
3. Bargaining on Resources
4. Burrowing deeper to Hold Your Ground
5. Accepting minor setbacks to Win The War!

Well, now you have the happy version as well, you can go to sleep now. I did wake up from a dream I was fighting a big guy or something so I will be trying to go back to sleep soon to beat that guy!

Weirdest National Day

As of this post, Singapore is already halfway through National Day. It is almost too funny this year compared to previous.

1. General Election and Post Election Trauma, noted as GE and PET and together as GEPET
   First, they have TPL, which in  my opinion is not a good candidate from one look, but she boarded GCT's gravy train so, what can you do? Vote bad politicians out la!
2. Presidential Election, which is the current hot topic since it could be another walkover
   Not that I care, its SGD 4M down the drain as he must listen to the Cabinet's advice
   But to have candidate like TKL giving silly quotes to inspire voters really makes my back hurt from falling off the couch laughing
   Oh, and TT's open thumb handshake
3. As part of the election, my ex classmate decided to rip my kind efforts apart as it "threatens" the political project this classmate embarked on
   How would anyone know what's in someone else's head?
   Oh, because I'm able to commune with God I guess, but God keeps reminding me, live and let live, and don't keep reading people like a book...
   Plus I got sick of reading this person's thoughts after the many contradictory things, such as throwing another person under the bus while pretending to be just and upright...
4. Everyone's screaming about how PAP is unfair
   Well, we let them grow arrogant, so we should not blame anyone
   If you want to convince someone else, DO THE RIGHT THING
5. Speaking of doing the right thing, everyone likes to pick on my lack of action as inaction
   So, do you see like the amount of brain activity in my head while giving ideas?
   Oh, right, you were not listening, of course, that's the very reason why things are not going your way because you did not want to listen to the signs people tell you
6. And since people aren't listening, I'm going to ignore all complaints of DJIA crashing
   Of course it crashed, USA's GDP is not really growing for some time and we told you that when we did QE!
   Oh I forgot, you were not listening because you preferred to listen to Cramer or the Singapore replica in Singapore...eh...who huh?

Anyway, as always, I have no opinion over who should be President. You can be sure of someone's ability and promise but to actually see them is another thing. I believe that putting the right people at the right places is key, which is why my "Lazy Bone Project" is underway. Speaking of which, where did I put that manuscript for the plan overview...

Quote : Wastage is in the Mind

Background:

I was reading my friend Roger (Siow) talking about wasting time in a view of having fun and enjoying it.


That reminded me of many experiences where people tell me that I am wasting time.

I sincerely beg to differ and agree with Roger.

Perhaps I'm silly, perhaps I need to learn, perhaps I'm arrogant, perhaps its not my time yet. Either way, I believe in individuality and making things happen when I want to, not just because someone told me to. 


I do not have time to make money like some other when I was 12 because I like to enjoy the flowers of youth. I was unable to be productive in SAF or NUS because I wasn't given the opportunity. I didn't finish my PhD for the same reasons. 


Either way, I learnt something and I'm using that experience now to help others. Most evidently, I advised my cousin on her PhD program and she thanked me for talking her into it.

So, all in all, we cannot deem that someone is wasting time. If you think someone can do something better, tell them the better way. Show them the better way. Or, just let them be, because for all you know, they saw through things you missed. I definitely believed in that. I believe my childhood running around trees and sand was wonderful and had wished that if only my sister and brother went through the same amount of fun before elementary school.

Motto : Overkill Is Underrated

Reason:


I grew up under the Kiasu (怕输) and Kiasi (怕死) system. What Kiasu means is, scared to lose. What Kiasi means is, scared of death.


What that means in my family is "Be Prepared". Well, that's the same motto for my Boy Scouts when I was young. Never really a big fan but I stuck on it enough to be independent. But that meant to everyone to just save their skin by doing just slightly more than enough.


This "Do Just Enough" often contradicts my philosophy. I often get told to do just enough to solve things and not be too good and stand out. That annoys me. To make things worse, many throw problems on myself and others because we're good in solving problems.


Although I am lucky that this has not happened much since I started working, I have resolved to do more than is needed and blow the competition away. That's why I believe in "Overkill". That's why I liked the line in "A Team". That's why, I decided to engage "Project Lazy Bone".

It's better to be a naive damn darn good worker than to be a ingenious normal slacker. That way, we lived our lives to the fullest. Plus, more likely than not, you and I will get rewarded for our hard work in more ways than just money.

Motto : Never Impose On Others What You Would Not Choose For Yourself

Reason:


Well, straight from Confucius and I'm sure everyone is aware of what it means. The simplest one liner to explain The Golden Rule.


I must say, my mom is a great believer of this rule and I grew into her belief. I find it wonderful and it works well.


I'm not going to write an essay for this. Enjoy!

Motto : You Happy, I Happy

Reason:


There is an idea in Chinese culture, at least in my family when I was growing up, where everybody lives happy as a community, helping each other and growing with each other. This can be view from many angles, money, education, life, whatever. This is the reason why, as a pacifist who understands the reasons behind war, I believe that this is the best motto for everyone to live with and it enhances The Golden Rule.