Another fruitless week goes into memory without much event. Well, almost no event. The week is fruitless in terms of studies again. Barely having time to rest, I focus most of my off work time to relaxation and enjoyment. People need to relax don't they? Plus I'm not local, meaning I need more time to feel at ease. Of course, all these would be just excuse without productive output. Unfortunately, nothing is guaranteed until output is confirmed. If only I can have the qualifier early. Of course, it might not have been a good idea anyway, just like I had once thought I'd have enough foundation to waive my courses.
Well, I should not be naming it Qualifiers, since I'm focused more on passing the Masters. I keep my focus on viewing of adding the Qualifiers to scalp of the Masters exam if I can. Based on my semesters' grades, it should not be a huge problem, but of course, nothing is for granted. I never felt that I have a good chance of passing. This is the filter to the PhD after all.
I did some reading of course. My work is about research, but my research was about novas and nebulae. Seems out of topic, but I was drawn into relativity. Maybe I'll keep that in mind. Science is not perfect after all. Anything man made is definitely far from perfect, including exams.
Ok, enough talk about the exams. I was planning to enjoy the week with Sarah on her birthday. Of course, I'm not the only one to join her. I went to City Limits and ended up learning and trying hard to fudge a proper line dance sequence. I was pretty good with my feet, even with some dancing, but lack of practice really hurts my movements. Even when I think of my footballing, I realize that I have taken the slow and steady approach, which is not well suited for moderate to fast movements. In short, I'm slow now, which I better pass it off as "dance idiot" than "outdated". Its just a matter of which hurts less.
I left early, although I'm the last guy to leave. Stephanie and Kara started to get some wine, and Sarah is having some sort of reunion, and well, I have nothing. Standing there dazed is ok, but I'm out of place sitting among five girls who I have little in common. I supposed I am out of tune to start with.
What was more eventful was what happened after that. I left early, so the night is young. I thought, "Well, I could go Farmer's market, better call Luciano". In the end, I went to his house and we together with John, we went out for pool. The only problem, we don't get to play it. We went to Lucky B's and it was crowded, unusually so, according to Luciano. We had a discussion on girls at a pub, and I shot myself in the foot with a remark true for people I've been with in Singapore. Clubbing is not the best way to mix with girls. We had a small unofficial bet. We need to talk and mix with girls. Not my idea, I'm for pool, but since I'm at a pub, which is supposed to be a place for fun, I kept smiling like I usually do, since I'm there for fun.
In a rare coincidence, I ended up between two beautiful dancing girls. I kept my hands in my pocket like I usually do, not that I had some other ideas. I am slow after all, so Luciano said, "Take your hands out" and I said, "Yeah, but I was slow". Next thing I knew, one of the two girls pulled me in again and we "danced". I don't know how to, but with the limited amount of space I have, I kept trying to keep my body moving in synch and it seems good enough. It was probably the closest I ever got to a girl I don't knew. I did get to know her name though. Danielle. Unfortunately, I couldn't hear what she tried to converse to me after our introduction. That led to my sin for the night actually, I didn't ask for her number! It was a first in many ways, though the phone part is not a first. Old "habit" (problems) die hard I guess.
Actually, for a first timer, I think I did fine, not too good, but ok, but the shock of being able to dance with a pretty girl took me by surprise. It wasn't something I'm proud of, but I felt good about it, since it is why I find some trickles of life here more adaptable than back in Singapore. I definitely won't find this happening to me in Singapore. People here express themselves freely and are more open to people who are different. Well, hopefully not different as in "Carl" like, of course. In some ways, I felt that I am right to come here and search for the opening I wanted to my life, and the meeting with Danielle seems to woke up certain portions of me that has been dormant while I'm struggling with life as well. I might not meet her again, although I would like to so that I can thank her. Everyday is indeed another chance to learn. I learn all the time though, even if I'm re-watching the same old shows. Of course, a typical Singapore guy might imagine more than that, but I'm not shorting my circuits out. I know the chances and limits. I'm a probabilist, and a pretty good one before my Qualifiers.
Oh, perhaps one lame excuse I could offer is the loud music broke up our conversation, and she left early. I would have sent her back if I had the chance of course. No other thoughts, cross my heart. Well, maybe not that many. I was pretty dazed after a day of work and some alcohol.
Other than that, there was nothing much left for the week. The irony of the week kept me thinking, "What was I thinking?" I left a birthday gathering of five girls and a guy (only me!) to look for two guys to drink a bit and play pool. I was, then, dancing with a pretty girl (two before the one most memorable one of the week) and forgot to ask for her number. Danielle. Glad to have met you. You might never hear it from me directly, but I hope you do.
Well, I guess life is like that. This line might be from a anime, but it sure sums a lot of things up in the most appropriate way. "We have to take the path we have". I messed things up and I might need to pay for it, including that pinchy feeling of not doing something. Well well, now, back to work. I look forward to the future, like I always do, but I think something is different now, really, although i'm still watching my favourite anime and plays lots of computer games. Let's see what the conclusion to my story is. The chance of meeting Danielle again is not zero, though small.
