Another week gone, but this week is very unproductive. I have done quite a lot of work in office but none for my qualifier. I guess I shall always name it as my number one reason for failure. What can I do when no one watches my back? I can try to watch my own funds, but what did the school do to help me? Nothing. I did get my pay, which is at least some regulated action. Else, nothing. I don't seem to know how they are fulfilling their promise of making my studies there a success when not only I need to work hard within all the regulation and still get my stuff hindered. School, not so good. Work, quite good.
My work performance is ok. I am being distracted both on my studies and work. Add that with a qualifier. Who has a tougher workload than mine? Only Adish and Karen have full time commitments, Adish skipped qualifier preparation, Karen studies part time. I'm not going to find excuses, but it seems most things in school are going my way. I'm still taking high targets. I'm not one to lower expectations. It's when the environment stifles you, that is frustrating. That is the feeling I got back in Singapore, that is the feeling I get now. I can see less restrictions, but still, it still has way to go. I feel like I'm removing shackles. Funny, it seems.
Talking about shackles. I am removing them day by day in work. I think the Asian work mentality is affecting me a bit. I'm being conservative while exposing my bad habits. Its a bit of a dual route style to work. They tell me what I can do while I want them to tell me what I should not do. It's working a bit, but its slow. You know, its not like people will tell you everything. Only your family will tell you what went wrong and whatever. Others....maybe, give and take how close the person is to you. I'll be fine. I just seem to be more and more unproductive since I'm busy with house clearing and others.
Alex is moving out, and I do expect him to be the usual stingy self in separating things. Well, let's just say I have always used less than half the rent and half, if not more, of everything. And still, he shows no compassion as to how a foreigner is reacting to life in uncharted waters. Travel makes you grow? Like I always believed. Information and knowledge has to be used correctly, even in learning. I do learn everyday, and so do others, but what I see others use their brains for is less than that of its full exert-able potential, not to mention we can't use every drip of potential to begin with. Ah well, life is fair, what goes around will come around. I get cheated and ripped, someday, I'll be able to get back what I lost, if I work hard for it, of course.
Big Ben left. Sigh. Of all people. Ah well, I hope we go for KG soon. Flip made some signings, but we need more.
