Another tiring week down. This week is more of boredom than work. I tried to find myself something to do, but not much that I can find. I ended up playing around with SAS macros. Hm, sounds like the days when I took Java and make macros for the daily Reuters tasks. Its kind of easy when I got the hang of it, but I guess I'm still new to SAS, which is why even when get things to look at, I'm still clueless.
About the pretty girls that I met last week, I noticed that Heather was suddenly spotting rings on her fingers. I used to think that she was one of the only few singles left. Anyway, not that I'm having a crush, but I find her interesting,especially with the way she talks and looks at things. Anyway, her rings reminded me of something I need to do. I need to wear a very special ring from my parents. I was supposed to wear it for religional reasons, but I kept forgetting. Its due to the fact that I don't wear any ornaments before USA, not even a watch. Anyway, I noticed that she did not wear the rings on the following days, so I supposed she is still single, maybe attached. Anyway, I'm not jumping into anything, since I'm a foreigner and I'm not rushing things. I'm always happy if someone is happy, provided its not by causing malice. I think she is a nice girl, but I'm just not where I plan to be.
I spent the week getting to know of the bargains of the week than doing anything useful. In the end, I did not take part in any of the sales that is going on for Memorial's Day. I wanted to buy a hard disk and a dining table, but didn't get any. I think I'm broke again. Anyway, the idea of the week is not about sales or work or even sleep. I was chatting to my Graduate Directors when my anger took over. I guess I'm fed up with being under rewarded. I'm on the upper half of all of my classes at least, and I think I deserve a better chance than what I have now. I guess I find things ironical when the best chance of me getting funding is from a company which is formed up by students from our "rival" university and employs exclusively students from that university other than me. This is definitely ironical. Anyway, it stems from me seeing some unfriendly and idling people getting funding and sitting on it, preventing others from getting it. I'm not the only one, but I think just for my year, I'm the only one that is definitely going for PhD and still not funded directly.
Anyway, I think the thin line of love and hate is getting thinner by each day this situation goes on. I'm going to be reactive as usual. I recipocrate the kindness people give me with more, and while I'm not vengeful, I tend to give much less, to nearly none to people who refuse to learn to appreciate kindness. I'm still waiting for the reward of my hard work from my department. I came here to see a system that is know to be different from the one I came from. So far, nothing I saw so far is different, only the people. The only good output of my conversations is that I have a next step, although success is still minimum. I'm angry, but not mad. I have way more things to consider than to lose my head.
That is done for this week. I come to think I'm complaining about my roommate too much. Well, I think of it as a simple case of logic. When I first reached here, I can't use anything he other than plates and bowls. I was isolated and more often than not, he just ignores my needs and still expects me to pay for half of everything. Even when I paid more than my fair share, which means I use less than I pay for, aka being ripped off, he complains that my daily needs are excessive and other minor issues, which is really the bare minimum anyone I know needs. He seems to want to make life difficult for me, while I never gave him trouble. The irony to that is while I agree to cooperate, he refuses to cooperate. My only need is silence and normal usage of living needs and that is always being compromised. With that said, I think there is nothing worse that I can say about him, since he has been the devil in the apartment, never fulfilling what he ever says. Like one comment I hear about him, "Don't trust what he says". I do trust what he says, but being unable to do what he says, it means that he has nothing in him left other than being academically good.
Dan told me that he is considering a job offer from Bank of America. I'm definitely happy for him since we worked together and he deserves that job rightly. In fact, I think he is more than capable of doing PhD if not for the required coursework, which are mere academic exercises. Carl can get A's in them, Dan and I don't need them, other than the fact I have an outside chance of getting funding if I get more of them. Grades don't represent a good researcher is made. In fact, what I saw in the department so far even more rightly puts it in perspective. Dan excelled in non graded coursework that emphasizes in innovative thinking and he impressed more lecturers than any other student from our department. It would be our department's loss if he accepts the job, but I've told him that as a friend, I support any decision that he takes. I think the work really suits him, plus the fact that he told me that his "runway is shorter than mine", so if I am tempted by it, he should give it serious thought especially for his two kids. Any decision taken upon consideration of his family and goals based on love is definitely a right decision, even if it is painful. Well, that is assuming that his kids don't gets spoilt, but I've seen his kids, and they are good kids. So Dan, best of luck!
Detroit trails two games to one by today, which is upsetting but predictable. If they can take one game from Miami before going back to Motown and then winning one there, we can relax before a possible game seven. Well, let Flip decide what to do. I'm just a fan, though for the past few times I've seen, the players really need to improve their hit rate. They seem to become more offensive at the expense of a bit of defence, which is exposed whenever they are in a bad patch. This is the only thing that worries me. Other than that, I think we should be able to meet Dallas in the finals.
